Gratitude X 10

As you can imagine I am and have so many things I can be thankful for this holiday season. As of today, as I write this entry, not one person has known about the fact that I started a nightly ritual when I cannot sleep as a result of the side effects from chemo treatment.

What do I do?

I close my eyes and think of absolutely ALL of the things that I am grateful for - from A to Z. Many times it is difficult for me to even get started before I fall asleep. But mostly I begin with A and fall fast asleep long before Z filled with positive thoughts rolling around in my head. A serene ritual to complete the day, and an amazing way to remind myself, no matter how I feel or look or question & doubt, that there are SO many things to be thankful for:

1. My son (Daniel). He is a gift to me in many, many ways
2. Perseverance
3. Knowing I have options for breast reconstruction
4. Support I continue to receive from all over the world as I go through this DAUNTING (?) process
5. Snowflakes (The snow is falling as I write this and how beautiful it is! Imagine... each of those snowflakes unique from the other)
6. Laughter
7. Feeling great when i get up in the morning
8. My sisters and brothers and all their love and support
9. My great friends
10. Another day I get to thrive and make wonderful

Hope For The New Year And The New Me!

Hope is a priceless treasure that we all need.

For those who are filled with hope can remain cheerful even in the most desperate of circumstances. When we offer hope to others we empower them. Lastly, Hope is a power we all have to influence things for the better, whether for ourselves or for others!!!

Five Things I Am Most grateful For This Year !!!

As you can imagine I am and have so many things I can be thankful for this holiday season.
A little secret I have, often times at night I can not sleep, due to chemo treatments. I close my eyes and think of things I am grateful for starting with the alphabet, beginning with A. Many times it is difficult for me to even get started before I fall asleep. But mostly I begin with A and end up falling fast asleep with so many positive thoughts rolling around in my head. A wonderful way to end the night.

So here are the five things I am most grateful for this day I can share with you.
1. My Son, He is a gift from God, in so many ways.
2. My ability to have the options for reconstruction for new beautiful breasts.
3. All the support I receive from all over the world as I go thru this scarey and somewhat unpredictable process.
4. My Son again
5. For the snow falling right now as I write this blog , how beautiful it is !!!!

My Self Together Again !!!!!

"First of all I would just like to thank you all for the work you are doing and the awareness you are bringing to the subject of mastectomy and reconstruction. I am a 51 year old woman, I will be having a double prophylactic mastectomy and immediate reconstruction with tissue expanders. I am scared to death, but also know that this is the best decision for myself and my family to reduce my risks. Watching the slide show was extremely emotional but also comforting. Thank you. I am more than willing to help spread this message in ANY way that I can. I would use any materials to help Chicago and its surrounding areas to be more aware and accepting of this subject. Thank you for this Blog to prepare me and give me information much needed for such a serious and complicated process. Makes it much less frightening !!!!

Gratitude, Happy for this holiday and a new me in the new Year !

I am so excited for the upcoming new year, as I have been researching reconstruction, and look forward to finally after all these years, completing my plan for my new breasts which will make me feel like a new woman again.

I was unable to go straight to reconstruction after my diagnosis, due to various reasons, but now I am able. Whole and feminine, and I know it will do wonders for my attitude and outlook for my future. It can be daunting at times, due to all the decisions that have to be made, and trusting in someone whom will do the job correctly and perfectly. That in it self is a great feat I am sure, especially if you're a perfectionist like me.

I know I will be successful in the end and all will be well again with me, as I go on in a new chapter in my life.

Finallly coming to about Reconstruction for me

I have been bitten by the cancer bug for the past 10 years. I have had 2 reoccurences , going thru chemo time and time again. I am know finally after 7 years deciding on going thru with reconstruction.
I was unable to with my first bout go straight to reconstruction. My doctors ordered me to go straight to chemo and radiation, and I felt a need to at the time take their direction. So I did.
After dealing with a double mastectomy, and the healing of that, I could only think of getting as far away from anything I could of had to do with cancer or hospitals or doctors etc. etc.etc.
Honestly, I was still married at the time and my husband did not seem to care which made it easier for me to decide to let it go for now. So I did.
Three years later and now after my second reoccurence I am looking at the possibility of getting new breasts finally, Reconstruction. I have to say there is so much to learn about the subject, and everyone is different, body type, etc. Even doctors have different ideas of how to do it depending on how your body is shaped.
I have very little skin on my left side, it is so tight due to surgery and scar tissue , and on my right side alot more skin, a little fat, so I would imagine it will be different.
I am not afraid of the surgery but a little anxious on how it may look in the end.
I will keep you posted on my research and when it all comes to fruition.
Keep posted for now, it is a whole new ballgame from here, a whole new world will open up I am sure.
Maureen

How much an animal can warm your heart !!

I am dog sitting this week, and I have to tell you it is so comforting to my soul , to be able to help someone and to be able to spend my week with this little angel of a creature. She is half pomeranian and half chinese chin, with little white booties as paws. She is adorable and her name is Chloe which fits her perfectly. I had a golden for 14 years , she passed on a year ago, and I have to say I miss her soo sooo much. I felt bad at times, because sometimes she could be a demanding dog, not really , but i thought so, and all she ever wanted was to be loved. So simple a request. She would do anything you asked, and she just wanted love back. So sometimes I do feel a bit bad for not having the patience she deserved. But I know she knew we loved her. And know being with Chloe , it feels so good , animals are amazing creatures, so loving and unconditional. So lucky to be able to have this job, which gives me so much joy.

A TRIP OF A LIFETIME WITH SO MUCH HOPE !!

I WOULD LIKE TO COMMENT ON MY TRIP TO LOURDES FRANCE. I JUST GOT BACK FROM THIS MOST UNFORGETTABLE TRIP OFFERED BY MY SISTER PEGGY. HER FRIEND JANETT AND HER FAMILY ALSO HELPED BY WAY OF HOSTING US IN PARIS INBETWEEN OUR TRIP TO LOURDES.

I CAN ONLY SAY I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET THIS WONDERFUL JOURNEY PEGGY AND I TOOK, AT MY REQUEST. I WAS FEELING LIKE I NEEDED SOMETHING MORE, I DON'T KNOW REALLY JUST A URGING TO GO TO LOURDES. I BROUGHT IT UP AND IT HAPPENDED. I AM THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD TO HAVE HAD THIS OPPORTUNITY HAPPEN.

LOURDES AND ALL ITS BEAUTY IS AND WAS A SPIRITUAL HAVEN FOR ALL THOSE NEEDING SOMETHING MORE. YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE ALL THE PEOPLE, THOUSANDS AND MORE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO HANG ON TO FOR WHAT EVER THEY WERE THERE FOR. IT MADE ME FEEL REALLY A PART OF SOME KIND OF MIRACLE HAPPENING THERE.

IF WHAT I WANTED DOES NOT COME TRUE , I CAN ONLY SAY IT IS ALRIGHT BECAUSE I GOT TO BE A PART SOMETHING HUGE, WITH MY SISTER AND HER FRIEND. THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO ME TO BE WITH PEGGY AT THE TIME. I FEEL MORE BLESSED THEN YOU CAN IMAGINE TO HAVE THE FAMILY I HAVE FOR LOVE AND SUPPORT. THAT IS WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO ME.

THAT IS WHAT I GOT MOSTLY FROM MY TRIP TO LOURDES, I AM TRUELY BLESSED.

LOURDES, FRANCE

GILDA'S CLUB ON WELLS STREET IN CHICAGO

Gilda's Club Chicago is a support community for men, women and children living with cancer, and families and friends. We offer a place where members join together to give and receive support. At Gilda's Club we believe:

• Our members living with cancer are the experts - and we listen and learn from them
• As experts, our members offer each other support while learning how best to live with cancer
• Cancer happens to the entire family and its social network, so club membership is extended to include all who are impacted by cancer. Each member develops a Customized Membership Plan to meet their needs. All are welcome.

"When Health is absent - wisdom cannot reveal itself, art cannot manifest, strength cannot fight, wealth becomes useless, and intelligence cannot be applied. - Herophilus, (335 BC to 280 BC - Greek Physician - The Father of Anatomy).

My Sweet little Devil, little did I know !!!!

Here is a picture of my beautiful son , age 4, a Halloween treat, a sweet little devil. He has been the motivation since day 1 of my cancer diagnosis to keep moving on, keep being strong no matter what life throws me. I thank God every day for Danny in my life, this picture is so reminiscent of that time for me, way before Cancer came into our lives and changed it forever. This picture will never be touched by anything ever, always a most memorable moment. I love you Danny !!!!!!

Cancer Myths

First i want to say I did try the previous recipe that i shared in my last post for sleep and I believe it did help, i will continue and share my results. Secondly: Rumors. Sometimes they make me crazy, hearing all these words, I have learned to just not listen sometimes. Kind of like what i don't hear won't hurt me.

Just a few of the rumors I hear about cancer often:

1. THE RISK OF DYING FROM CANCER IS INCREASING IN THE U.S., ACTUALLY ACCORDING TO REPORTS LISTED BY AMERICIAN CANCER SOCIETY, BOTH NUMBER OF DEATHS AND NUMBER OF NEW DIAGNOSES OF CANCER HAS DECLINED STEADILY IN RECENT YEARS.

2. ONLY SMOKERS GET LUNG CANCER. NOT TRUE.. WHILE SMOKING DOES ACCOUNT FOR THE MAJORITY OF LUNG CANCER DEATHS, 10-15% OF LUNG CANCER DEATHS DO OCCUR IN NONSMOKERS.

3. LASTLY, THE AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY REPORTS, THERE IS NO GOOD EVIDENCE THAT SUPPORTS A LINK BETWEEN BREAST CANCER RISK AND ANTIPERSPIRANT USE."

Liver Detoxifying Lemon-Olive Oil Drink

Let me first say I am not a doctor. I'm a person with cancer always seeking solutions to some of the effects I feel from my chemo treatments I receive on a weekly basis. So I will try this and let you know if it helps with my inability to sleep at times.

RECIPE FOR WHOLE LEMON/OLIVE OIL DRINK

(Rapidly heals Neuropathy and promotes weight gain by detoxifying the liver and normalizing saliva pH values)

Into a blender, add 1/2 a lemon (cut-up) including the rind and pulp. Be sure to first wash the lemon well and scrape off markings from artificial coloring. To the blender, add the cut up lemon plus one Tablespoon of Extra Virgin Olive Oil and one cup of orange or other fruit juice. Blend at high speed for one minute. Pour through a strainer (screen type) to remove pulp. Use a spatula to press the pulp. Discard the pulp.

Drink it all at once.

If you have problems sleeping, drink it just before you retire to your bedroom at night. It will help you get a good night’s sleep. The drink's therapeutic value comes from the whole lemon and the extra-virgin olive oil. The orange juice or other fruit juice is added as a sweetener.

Happy Birthday...to Me!

Today is my birthday!!!

I am always thankful for another day and another year.

Having an illness like cancer makes it even more important to live in the moment, one day at time, and I have to admit, I forget that often.

I remember when I was first diagnosed back in 2000, I will never forget driving my car one night with the windows down, air seemed so crystal clear, and the radio was playing, and it seemed like it was just me in the world, I blasted that radio so loud, and for minute I felt like I was truely living in the moment. Sounds kind of silly but for some reason that night sticks with me.

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”

Ways to change your life

Now you may or may not be a selfish person at heart but the fact of the matter is that anxiety and depression can make you selfish or at the very least make you seem selfish to others. Do you spend a lot of time wrapped in your own thoughts? Are you consumed by the next possible anxiety related disaster? Then chances are that you’re struggling to get outside of yourself and maybe even having trouble in your personal relationships. However, even if this is the case you can make a change and not only preserve your relationships, but also improve your anxiety symptoms in the process.

Solutions

• Practice compassion.
• Get outside of yourself and literally get outside as well.
• Communicate positively by being open and not making everything about you or your own problems. But also don’t be afraid to say what kind of support you need.
• Live in the present. Future thinking and regrets about the past are counterproductive. Make time for loved ones.
• Make an effort to be with those you love in meaningful ways.

On gratitude's ability to change your life

Today I'm really thinking a lot about gratitude.

I'm posting my first entry in my online journal. Today's been filled with many reasons to be thankful for the life that I have right now. I wouldn't change a thing, and yet things always change. And that's what this process is all about. As it turns out, studies show that writing my experiences down like this will help me to heal in many ways.

The Change Blog has a similar post on how gratitude can change your life. Here's a clip I wanted to share with you, especially as it relates to what I'm doing here today:

Two psychologists, Michael McCollough of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, and Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis, wrote an article about an experiment they conducted on gratitude and its impact on well-being. The study split several hundred people into three different groups and all of the participants were asked to keep daily diaries.

The first group kept a diary of the events that occurred during the day without being told specifically to write about either good or bad things; the second group was told to record their unpleasant experiences; and the last group was instructed to make a daily list of things for which they were grateful. The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy. In addition, those in the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, were more likely to help others, exercised more regularly, and made greater progress toward achieving personal goals.

Sounds good to me. Until next time...