Gratitude X 10

As you can imagine I am and have so many things I can be thankful for this holiday season. As of today, as I write this entry, not one person has known about the fact that I started a nightly ritual when I cannot sleep as a result of the side effects from chemo treatment.

What do I do?

I close my eyes and think of absolutely ALL of the things that I am grateful for - from A to Z. Many times it is difficult for me to even get started before I fall asleep. But mostly I begin with A and fall fast asleep long before Z filled with positive thoughts rolling around in my head. A serene ritual to complete the day, and an amazing way to remind myself, no matter how I feel or look or question & doubt, that there are SO many things to be thankful for:

1. My son (Daniel). He is a gift to me in many, many ways
2. Perseverance
3. Knowing I have options for breast reconstruction
4. Support I continue to receive from all over the world as I go through this DAUNTING (?) process
5. Snowflakes (The snow is falling as I write this and how beautiful it is! Imagine... each of those snowflakes unique from the other)
6. Laughter
7. Feeling great when i get up in the morning
8. My sisters and brothers and all their love and support
9. My great friends
10. Another day I get to thrive and make wonderful

Five Things I Am Most grateful For This Year !!!

As you can imagine I am and have so many things I can be thankful for this holiday season.
A little secret I have, often times at night I can not sleep, due to chemo treatments. I close my eyes and think of things I am grateful for starting with the alphabet, beginning with A. Many times it is difficult for me to even get started before I fall asleep. But mostly I begin with A and end up falling fast asleep with so many positive thoughts rolling around in my head. A wonderful way to end the night.

So here are the five things I am most grateful for this day I can share with you.
1. My Son, He is a gift from God, in so many ways.
2. My ability to have the options for reconstruction for new beautiful breasts.
3. All the support I receive from all over the world as I go thru this scarey and somewhat unpredictable process.
4. My Son again
5. For the snow falling right now as I write this blog , how beautiful it is !!!!

Gratitude, Happy for this holiday and a new me in the new Year !

I am so excited for the upcoming new year, as I have been researching reconstruction, and look forward to finally after all these years, completing my plan for my new breasts which will make me feel like a new woman again.

I was unable to go straight to reconstruction after my diagnosis, due to various reasons, but now I am able. Whole and feminine, and I know it will do wonders for my attitude and outlook for my future. It can be daunting at times, due to all the decisions that have to be made, and trusting in someone whom will do the job correctly and perfectly. That in it self is a great feat I am sure, especially if you're a perfectionist like me.

I know I will be successful in the end and all will be well again with me, as I go on in a new chapter in my life.

How much an animal can warm your heart !!

I am dog sitting this week, and I have to tell you it is so comforting to my soul , to be able to help someone and to be able to spend my week with this little angel of a creature. She is half pomeranian and half chinese chin, with little white booties as paws. She is adorable and her name is Chloe which fits her perfectly. I had a golden for 14 years , she passed on a year ago, and I have to say I miss her soo sooo much. I felt bad at times, because sometimes she could be a demanding dog, not really , but i thought so, and all she ever wanted was to be loved. So simple a request. She would do anything you asked, and she just wanted love back. So sometimes I do feel a bit bad for not having the patience she deserved. But I know she knew we loved her. And know being with Chloe , it feels so good , animals are amazing creatures, so loving and unconditional. So lucky to be able to have this job, which gives me so much joy.

A TRIP OF A LIFETIME WITH SO MUCH HOPE !!

I WOULD LIKE TO COMMENT ON MY TRIP TO LOURDES FRANCE. I JUST GOT BACK FROM THIS MOST UNFORGETTABLE TRIP OFFERED BY MY SISTER PEGGY. HER FRIEND JANETT AND HER FAMILY ALSO HELPED BY WAY OF HOSTING US IN PARIS INBETWEEN OUR TRIP TO LOURDES.

I CAN ONLY SAY I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET THIS WONDERFUL JOURNEY PEGGY AND I TOOK, AT MY REQUEST. I WAS FEELING LIKE I NEEDED SOMETHING MORE, I DON'T KNOW REALLY JUST A URGING TO GO TO LOURDES. I BROUGHT IT UP AND IT HAPPENDED. I AM THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD TO HAVE HAD THIS OPPORTUNITY HAPPEN.

LOURDES AND ALL ITS BEAUTY IS AND WAS A SPIRITUAL HAVEN FOR ALL THOSE NEEDING SOMETHING MORE. YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE ALL THE PEOPLE, THOUSANDS AND MORE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO HANG ON TO FOR WHAT EVER THEY WERE THERE FOR. IT MADE ME FEEL REALLY A PART OF SOME KIND OF MIRACLE HAPPENING THERE.

IF WHAT I WANTED DOES NOT COME TRUE , I CAN ONLY SAY IT IS ALRIGHT BECAUSE I GOT TO BE A PART SOMETHING HUGE, WITH MY SISTER AND HER FRIEND. THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO ME TO BE WITH PEGGY AT THE TIME. I FEEL MORE BLESSED THEN YOU CAN IMAGINE TO HAVE THE FAMILY I HAVE FOR LOVE AND SUPPORT. THAT IS WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO ME.

THAT IS WHAT I GOT MOSTLY FROM MY TRIP TO LOURDES, I AM TRUELY BLESSED.

On gratitude's ability to change your life

Today I'm really thinking a lot about gratitude.

I'm posting my first entry in my online journal. Today's been filled with many reasons to be thankful for the life that I have right now. I wouldn't change a thing, and yet things always change. And that's what this process is all about. As it turns out, studies show that writing my experiences down like this will help me to heal in many ways.

The Change Blog has a similar post on how gratitude can change your life. Here's a clip I wanted to share with you, especially as it relates to what I'm doing here today:

Two psychologists, Michael McCollough of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, and Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis, wrote an article about an experiment they conducted on gratitude and its impact on well-being. The study split several hundred people into three different groups and all of the participants were asked to keep daily diaries.

The first group kept a diary of the events that occurred during the day without being told specifically to write about either good or bad things; the second group was told to record their unpleasant experiences; and the last group was instructed to make a daily list of things for which they were grateful. The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy. In addition, those in the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, were more likely to help others, exercised more regularly, and made greater progress toward achieving personal goals.

Sounds good to me. Until next time...