A New Attitude !!

I went to Dana Farber today to meet with Dr. Chen. She was wonderful and very hopeful with my prognosis, and made me feel Hope for the first time again in quite a while. It's amazing to me how people can change your way of thinking , just like that. I left there with a dear friend, Terry, and I felt like a little kid again, really feeling the hope. I need that all the time, I get so down sometimes, and have trouble getting back up. I feel like I have an obligation to all the people I know to be a great example of how to be in the face of cancer. I have been told all my life by people , you are strong and honestly, I am not, I don't want to be anymore. If this is what strong gets me, forget it, I just want to be me and live life like I use too. Not thinking about cancer and what it may bring. I am forever grateful for the life I use to hate, and now I want it back. I am longing for the life that people get to have and not worry about their future with illness. I don't want to leave my son and my family, I want to be here even if at times I know I can make their lives not so great. But God please let me stay and be here with them, that is my wish for my life !!